


Modern Girls and Old Fashioned Men

by mr_charles



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Crush, F/M, Humor, where's all the mary margaret/gold shippers at?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-03
Updated: 2013-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-23 13:11:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/622485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mr_charles/pseuds/mr_charles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mary Margaret was a school teacher. She did not develop school girl crushes, especially not on scary pawnbrokers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In Which Mary Margaret Makes A Deal

**Author's Note:**

> This fandom has a distinct lack of Mary Margaret/Gold fics. I have taken it upon myself to fix that.

Mary Margaret is a schoolteacher, not a nun.

 

 _Maybe if I repeat this to myself enough, I'll start to believe it_ , she thought to herself and she straightened up her classroom. Her pupils were out at recess and she could hear their playful voices through the windows. Her date with Dr. Whale had been a disaster and now she was nursing an awkward crush on a coma patient who didn't even have a name.

 

With a sigh, she bent over to pick up the coloring supplies that Maggie had spilt under her desk. Sweet girl, Maggie was. And Henry, oh Henry, thought her divorced parents were Wendy and Peter Pan. It made sense, actually. Maggie's parents had a very public divorce with her mother throwing things out the front door and shouting "grow up!" to her soon-to-be ex-husband.

 

 _It'd be kind of awesome to be Snow White_ , Mary Margaret thought as she groped for the missing crayons under Maggie's desk. _Of course, that'd make me Emma's mother, which is a bit awkward. But she needs a good friend in her life and a-_

 

"Miss Blanchard. What a lovely surprise." Mary Margaret jumped at the sound of Mr. Gold's voice, causing her to knock her head on the underside of Maggie's desk.

 

"Ow, dammit!" Mary Margaret stood and vaguely rubbed at the sore spot on the top of her head. "Mr. Gold? I thought you always got your rent from the school board?"

 

Mr. Gold let out a sigh. “Why does everyone think I’m only here for the rent?”

 

“Maybe it’s the Magenta Shirt of Intimidation?” Mary Margaret offered, gesturing to his shirt and matching pocket square.

 

“Yes,” Mr. Gold smirked as he smoothed his shirt down. “Well, one does want to dress in something other than various shades of white.”

 

Mary Margaret was about to make a comment about her red cardigan before realizing that she went with the off-white one today. It matches her cream skirt better than the red one does. With a small pout, she mumbled in an even smaller voice “The white offsets my hair.”

 

Mr. Gold smiled. “Miss Blanchard, I’m not here to discuss fashion with you.” His tone was light; Mary Margaret was surprised. “I’m here to discuss Miss Swan and the young Mr. Mills. How are they holding up? Regina’s trying her damndest to keep them apart.”

 

Mary Margaret smiled. “Every third recess, so at about two, I let the children stay outside and play for an extra ten minutes. Emma shows up and takes Henry to go get ice cream.”

 

“Children are the most important thing in life, Miss Blanchard.” Gold couldn’t bring himself to look her in the eye so he fumbled with the handle of his cane instead. “Parents, no matter how distant, should always devote time to their children.”

 

“Do you have children, Mr. Gold?” He didn’t answer nor look at her. “Would you…” she paused, not knowing how to word it, “…like to come read to the children sometime?”

 

“Excuse me? Miss Blanchard, half of your pupils’ parents shield their eyes from me when I’m walking down Main Street. I don’t think they’d take kindly to me reading to them.”

 

“It’s just I’m on a mission to get every available adult to read to the children,” Mary Margaret pleaded. “I’m sure they get sick of my voice day in and day out. And you! You have that accent which is sure to make Lemony Snicket’s writing sound much more interesting than it does when Ruby reads it.”

 

“Ruby?” Mr. Gold didn’t know that Ruby counted as an adult in Mary Margaret’s eyes.

 

“Yeah, I don’t think I’ll have her come back.” Mary Margaret absently scratched at her arm. “She showed up in her work uniform and I think half the boys in my class became men that day!”

 

Mr. Gold let out a small chuckle. “Has Emma read to the children yet?”

 

Mary Margaret smiled. “Oh yes! She was the first one! Nothing makes headlines like Storybrooke’s new sheriff reading to the children.”

 

“I’ll make you a deal, Miss Blanchard.” Mary Margaret’s insides turned at that phrase. “I’ll read to your pupils if you let me buy you a coffee that morning.”

 

“Deal!” The word was out of her mouth before she could process what he’d proposed. The bell had rung to signal the end of recess and she could hear the children hurrying back to the classroom.

 

“Oh, and Miss Blanchard?” He turned back to face her. “White suits you.” With that, he limped out of her classroom, narrowly avoiding the stampede of 10 year olds. 


	2. Cherry, Chocolate, and Vanilla.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry but we need more OUaT fics where someone watches The Full Monty. I know Storybrooke is stuck in time but they've at least got to have a video store of some kind.

It’s almost time for school to get out for the day and Mary Margaret can feel her students itching with anticipation.

 

“Before you leave today,” Mary Margaret says, “I’d like to let you know that you’re going to have a surprise guest read to you next week!” The children are buzzing and Mary Margaret can hear their little whispers of “who is it? who is it?” and the whispers carry out into the hallway as the bell rings and their day is over. Henry stays behind and Mary Margaret knows that he knows.

 

“Why are you having Rumpelstiltskin read to us?” The question could be sarcastic but it sounds earnest coming from him.

 

“I think he’s lonely, Henry.” Mary Margaret has discovered that it’s best to be honest with Henry. “I think he had a child at one point. I think that being around children might, I don’t know, perk him up a little?”

 

Henry beamed at his teacher. “I think that’s a great idea, Miss Blanchard.” He rushed to grab his things before looking at his teacher once more and saying, “Tell Emma I say hi?”

 

“I will Henry. Have a nice night!” _Tell Emma I said hi_ was all but code for _Tell Emma I love her_.

 

“You too, Miss Blanchard!” His voice was distant; he was running down the hallway.

 

With a smile, Mary Margaret gathered her things and locked up her classroom. It was a warm spring day and she enjoyed her walk to Granny’s Diner.

 

“The usual?” Ruby asked with her red smile. Mary Margaret nodded as she sat at the counter. She wanted to ask the young waitress if she’d ever had a crush on someone she shouldn’t before. Mary Margaret cast a glance at Ruby’s rolled up blouse and red sailor shorts and decided that Ruby didn’t get awkward crushes on people; people got awkward crushes on Ruby.

 

“Hey Mary Margaret?” Ruby asked as she paid for her drinks. “Can I come back and read to the kids?” Mary Margaret opened her mouth but Ruby cut her off. “I won’t show up in my work uniform! I’ll put on some jeans and a nice sweater before I show up! In fact, if you’ll let me, I’ll borrow one of your nun cardigans!”

 

Mary Margaret laughed. “Of course you can come back, Ruby! It’s always nice to see people who want to spend time with children. And I’ve got a red cardigan you can borrow if you like.” With a big grin, Ruby threw her arms over Mary Margaret’s shoulders and hugged her as well as she could with the counter in the way.

 

With her drink carrier, Mary Margaret made her way to the police station. It was Thursday. On Thursday’s, Mary Margaret showed up with two Cokes for her and Emma—one vanilla and one cherry. The fact that Mary Margaret could be Emma’s mother in an alternate dimension made her want to treat Emma like her daughter. And… moms and daughters talked about boys, right?

 

“We need to talk,” Mary Margaret announced as she placed Emma’s cherry Coke next to her stack of paperwork.

 

“What’s up?” Emma was scribbling away at her papers and Mary Margaret hoped that she wouldn’t register what she was about to say. She sat down and folded her hands on Emma’s desk.

 

“I think I have a crush on Mr. Gold.”

 

Emma’s pen skittered across her paper, leaving an inky trail in its wake. “Excuse me?”

 

“Oh, I was hoping you weren’t paying attention!” A pink blush was making its way across Mary Margaret’s cheeks.

 

“When the hell did this happen?” Emma asked, taking a small sip of her soda.

 

“He came in to class to ask about you and Henry and I asked him to read to the children and he made fun of the way I dress and now he’s coming to read to the children and now I’ve got an awkward crush and I was going to talk to Ruby about it but I don’t think Ruby gets awkward crushes so now I’m here talking to you!” Mary Margaret panted, still blushing. “Does that make sense?”

 

“He made fun of how you dress?” Emma looked more confused than anything. She smiled before gesturing to Mary Margaret’s soda. “You are a little… _vanilla_.”

 

“Oh, shut it!” Mary Margaret had no choice but to smile at her friend. “But he is going to read to the children.”

 

“Did you have to make a deal with him?” Emma asked, now intrigued.

 

“I did,” Mary Margaret said with a secret little smile. “He said he’d only do it if he could buy me coffee before school starts.”

 

Emma smiled at that. “I don’t know if that’s adorable or weird!”

 

“Why would it be weird?” Mary Margaret asked. “It’s not like he asked for a strand of my hair or anything.”

 

“Mary Margaret.” Emma’s tone was bordering on condescending. “Everyone in this town is scared of him and he wants to buy _you_ a _coffee_? That’s a little weird. What’d Henry say?”

 

“How did you know he knows?”

 

“He seems to know everything. I think he gets that from Regina.” Emma shrugged.

 

“He thinks that Mr. Gold is lonely and that it’d be good for him to interact with the children,” Mary Margaret said. “Oh, and he says hi.”

 

Emma gave a sad smile. “Oh, I’m going to be late tonight so don’t worry about dinner or anything.”

 

Mary Margaret took that as her cue to leave. “Thanks for the chat, Emma.” Emma waved her off as she walked out of the police station.

 

On her way home, Mary Margaret stopped by the grocery store and picked up a half gallon of ice cream. She debated buying a small bottle of (vanilla) vodka as well, but knew that a school teacher buying alcohol on a school night wouldn’t look right. A quick stop at the video store for some DVDs for the weekend, and Mary Margaret headed home.

 

 

It was nearing midnight when Emma stumbled into the small loft she shared with Mary Margaret. She found her pajama’d roommate on the couch with her knees pulled up to her chest and holding a large bowl of chocolate ice cream.

 

“How was work?” Mary Margaret asked. “Would you like some ice cream?”

 

“It’s nearly midnight,” Emma pointed out. “Why are you awake still? Don’t you have class in the morning? And what the hell are you watching?” Emma was trying to focus on the flashing lights on their small TV.

 

“It’s like a British version of _Magic Mike_? I’m not exactly sure. But it’s almost over and then I’m going to bed.”

 

“Is that- oh my God! Mary Margaret, you are a school teacher!”

 

“It’s not what it looks like, Emma!”

 

“Really, because I think that’s exactly what it looks like!”

 

“But…”

 

“I know. It’s okay. When I was in high school, I used to watch bad 80s movies because Jason Bateman looked like the teacher I had a crush on.”

 

“You’re the best, Emma.”

 

“I know. Scoot. I have to see how this ends.”


	3. Modern Girls Always Get Their Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which there are hangovers, minor enforced makeovers, cheap references, and friendship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final part! I almost made this into a "muahahahaha Evil Queen strikes again!" kind of thing but decided against it. I hope you all liked my little fluff piece.

When Mary Margaret gets home from school on Friday afternoon, there’s a small piece of paper wedged between the door and the wall. Her name is written on it in black ink and swooping letters.

 

_Miss Blanchard,_

_If you’re free Monday morning, I’d very much like to buy you a coffee and come read to your young pupils._

_Mr. Gold._

 

The message is short and to the point. Quickly, Mary Margaret zips the note into her purse before turning around and heading to the grocery store. On her way there, she calls Emma. “Emma? Do you want to get drunk tonight?”

 

It’s either late Friday night or early Saturday morning when the giggles and hiccups die down and the bottle is empty on the floor. It’s Saturday afternoon when Mary Margaret wakes up on the floor with Emma’s arm clasped around her protectively. Mary Margaret is vaguely reminded of keeping her favorite teddy bear in this kind of death grip as a child. Quietly sliding out from Emma’s arm, Mary Margaret stumbles her way to the shower. It’s not her worst hangover but it isn’t her best.

 

“Did drinking help?” Emma mumbles from the floor when Mary Margaret returns to clean up the living room.

 

“Help what?”

 

“You tell me. I saw the note on the counter, Mary Margaret.”

 

“I was hoping the drinking would take away the excitement,” Mary Margaret admits with a shrug.

 

“Did it?” Emma asks as Mary Margaret starts a pot of coffee. When she doesn’t respond, Emma does. “I’m going to take that as a no.”

 

“What should I do?”

 

Emma grumbles and Mary Margaret can hear her rolling around on the floor. Ignoring her friend, she busies herself with making her and Emma cups of coffee. "What are you doing?" she asks, peering over the counter.

 

"Got it!" Emma cries, waving a five dollar bill in the air. "It was under your couch."

 

"What's a fiver going to do?" Mary Margaret asks, setting Emma's coffee on the floor next to her.

 

Gingerly sitting up, Emma hands Mary Margaret the dollar bill. "Here's what you're gonna do," she says, picking up her coffee cup. “You're gonna put a little bit of lipstick on and wear something other than your schoolmarm outfit. You are going to take that five dollars and see what that'll get you at the pawn shop. You’re going to buy something and on your way out, you’re gonna tell Mr. Gold that you can’t wait to see him Monday morning.” She tops her explanation off with a noisy slurp of coffee.

 

When Gold catches a flash of red out of the corner of his eye, he briefly thinks that Granny’s waitress has come to try and con him out of another trinket for her grandmother. “Granny’s got enough figurines now, don’t you think Miss Lucas?”

 

“Excuse me?” Mary Margaret sounds confused.

 

Gold turns to find Storybrooke’s favorite school teacher standing next to a display. She’s dressed in a simple pair of jeans and a red cardigan. There’s a soft smudge of light red lipstick under her bottom lip; he assumes Emma forcibly applied the color.

 

“Ah, Miss Blanchard. How may I help you?” He makes his way over to the display to see what she’s looking at. It’s nothing really; cheap Disney toys that can’t possibly be of any use to her.

 

“Emma,” she swallows slowly. “Emma told me to come in here and flirt.” She can’t look at him and Gold doubts the garish Mickey phone is that interesting to her. “But I’m here to confirm coffee on Monday?” She looks at him with a questioning look.

 

He gives her a crooked smile. “I’ll see you at Granny’s at… 7:15? How does that sound?”

 

Mary Margaret positively beams. “Works for me!”

 

“Now,” he says, gesturing to his shop, “is there anything in particular you’re looking for?”

 

On a small shelf on the wall is a necklace. The chain is silver and a small gold sword hands from it. “How much is that necklace?” She asks. “Emma kind of deserves a present for pushing me in here.”

 

“Ah yes,” Gold says, limping around the counter. “The sheriff has her gun now she needs a sword.”

 

“How much?” Mary Margaret prompts again. It’ll be 30 dollars if she’s lucky.

 

“I’ll make you a deal, Miss Blanchard…”

 

 

Emma disregards the small tissue paper box that Mary Margaret hands her when she gets back home from the pawn shop.

 

“Well, aren’t you going to open your present?” Mary Margaret asks.

 

“Where’d you kiss him?” Emma’s got one hand on her hip and the other rests against the counter.

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Lipstick,” is all Emma says. “Your lipstick is more smudged than it was when you left earlier.”

 

“Shut up and open your present!”

 

With a smile, Emma unwraps her necklace. “Oh my. Oh, Mary Margaret, you had better kissed him somewhere good for this.”

While Gold and his pawn shop had many visitors that day, none of them could bring themselves to point out the red smudge on his left cheek.

 

It was purely coincidental that Mary Margaret and Sherriff Swan were in Granny’s at 7:08 am on Monday morning. Mary Margaret took a seat near the back of the diner while Emma took a seat at the counter.

 

Keeping her back turned and shredding her breakfast muffin to pieces, Emma waited as the diner hushed when Gold walked in. Granny opened her mouth to speak but Emma caught her eye and shook her head harshly.  The hush lingered as Gold made his way to the back of the diner and took a seat across from Mary Margaret.

 

“Gold and Mary Margaret?” Granny broke the silence and looked at Emma. “Good Lord, girl. The lion might as well be buying the lamb lunch. Ruby, go.” With a confused glance at Emma, Ruby made her way over to the two and took their orders.

 

“He wants to read to the kids,” Emma offered.

 

With a raised eyebrow, Granny sighed. “So that’s what they’re calling it these days.”

 

 

“Might I have the honor of walking you to school, Miss Blanchard?” Gold asked as they stood outside the diner. He offered his arm to her.

 

Taking his arm in hers with a smile, Mary Margaret said, “I think I’d like that very much, Mr. Gold.”

 

As they walked and made small talk, Mary Margaret came to a conclusion. He _was_ lonely. _Even if this awkward crush goes nowhere,_ she thought with a smile, _at least I can be his friend._


End file.
